Letters to barbie fulla

Dear you..
My unblood sister...
Let me write our memories here.

Firstly we met in a same program. A lady who wore a white blouse and simple skirt raised her hand. Her face could not hide her curiosity on something and with confidence asking about the program. Since the time you spoke, I knew, she is a smart and confident girl. It was my first impression. Then, there was a plotting time, those girl was in a same group like me and unpredictably, by the time pass, we spent our time together and it was like a "click" sound between us. I commit to call you my dearest sister from another sister.

A beautiful smart-ass lady, confident, multi-talented and an obedient muslim (that's what I adore about you the most), you shared your bittersweet stories. People was trying to make you down, you stand still, and keep 'ikhlas' while also proliferating yourself to be a better lady. Once an unskilled chef and now have a pudding business (lol), from a lady who did not know how to applying make up and now a master. A lifetime learner and also a teacher to her students mirroring her capabilities.

Bingung

Bingung. Mungkin caption tersebut tepat menggambarkan perasaan ataupun pikiran yang berbenak dalam perasaan dan otak saya. Yang mana yang tepat untuk menggambarkan bingung, apakah perasaan terlebih dahulu yang menggambarkan situasi tersebut atau apakah otak dulu yang memunculkannya? Ujung-ujung bingung sendiri.

Well, sebenarnya disini saya bingung melihat sikap orang-orang di sekitar saya. Sebelum memulai intisari dari kebingungan saya, saya memulai tulisan ini dari pandangan kritis. Dalam proses pembelajaran yang saya lakukan, pemikiran kritis muncul karena adanya pertentangan yang dirasakan atas status quo atau kejadian yang biasa terjadi. Karena adanya kesadaran sosial ini, muncullah gerakan-gerakan untuk mengubah kebiasaan yang sudah mengakar ini.

Saya ingin mengangkat sebuah kesadaran di lingkungan sekitar saya. Cukup sederhana, tapi cukup menggambarkan pertentangan atas kondisi tersebut dan saya disini ingin menggumamkan sebuah kesadaran. Jadi, menurut saya, bukan maksudnya menjatuhkan, mendiskriminasi atau apapun itu,

Belajar Gagal

BELAJAR GAGAL

Gagal adalah suatu situasi dimana kita tidak mendapatkan apa yang ingin kita capai, itu definisi kata gagal versi gue. Kata “gagal” sendiri sepertinya momok yang sangat menakutkan bagi semua orang. Siapa sih yang ingin gagal? Gagal dalam cita-cita, gagal dalam percintaan, gagal dalam persahabatan dan maaaasiiihh banyak kegagalan lainnya yang menghantui setiap jalan kehidupan kita kedepannya.

Well, kegagalan sendiri tentunya pernah gue rasakan. Jangan Tanya berapa kali. Jawabannya Banyaaaakkk! Gimana sih rasanya gagal? Well, pasti sakiiiittt yaaahh reeekkk (sambal elus-elus dada :’)) Apalagi untuk seseorang yang selalu mendapatkan apapun yang ia inginkan #tsaaahh gayaneeee, dan kadang juga tanpa perlu berusaha keras (perlu ditampok keknya), ketika gagal untuk yang pertama kalinya pasti nyesek banget! Serasa dihantam palu nih dada (hyperbola tapi benar adanya). Kalau kata Maudy sih “Rasanya tak ingin, bernafas lagii~ Well Ness, lu mulai alay bin lagi galau ya sampe nulis kayak beginian? Iya sih, galau. Rasane sakno ambek awak dewe. Wkwkwk. Tapi paling cuman hari ini, detik ini kok. Abis ini juga udah kembali berambisi. Hahaha. Tapi tujuan paling penting gue nulis bait ini adalah untuk kembali merefleksikan diri, apa sih kegagalan yang paling sering ‘kita’ lakukan? Kenapa sebenarnya Tuhan memberikan kegagalan pada kita?

Jujur saja, kegagalan terbanyak yang gue alami sendiri adalah menyangkut beasiswa dan pekerjaan. Intinya, semua tes seleksi besar-besaran untuk memperebutkan hal-hal prestigious, saya merasa pasti akan gagal. Kalau dihitung-hitung sepertinya sudah berkali-kali yaah. Dimulai saat SMA, seleksi salah satu program dari bank yang lumayan prestisius di tahap wawancara paling akhir. Saat masih kuliah juga, gagal Beswan Djarum yang sebelumnya pernah saya ulas di blog ini 2014 silam. Apalagi yaa? Mikir saking banyaknya. Hahaha. Seleksi masuk kerja juga misalnya seleksi BI, seleksi Pertamina dll masih banyak lagi. Terakhir ini saya gagal mendapatkan salah satu beasiswa. Kadang parno sendiri kalau mau ikut tes lagi, langsung ciut. Malu gak sih ceritain kegagalan? Well, gak lah! Karena toh semua dari kita pernah gagal. Jangan malu sama kegagalan. Belajar gagal, lama-lama biasa. Trust me!

Of course, Dari banyaknya kegagalan tersebut, tetap saja ada rasa kecewa yang terasa, meskipun kadar kekecewaannya untuk saat ini sekedar “jleb” dan timbullah rasa penasaran untuk kembali mencoba (jiks masih berkesempatan). Belajar untuk gagal dan terbiasa itu penting, tapi yang harus dicatat itu gimana biar kita gak terpuruk dan masih mau mencoba kesempatan-kesempatan lainnya. Gimana bisa memotivasi diri sendiri agar kedepannya, kita lebih bisa mempersiapkan diri untuk menghadapi hal-hal selanjutnya. Bait nyanyian Sheila on 7 “kau harus bisa.. bisaa.. berlapang dada.. kau harus bisa.. bisaa.. ambil hikmahnya..”.

Refleksi Diri:

Mungkin salah satu kesalahan terbesar saya adalah terlalu menggampangkan segala urusan beasiswa. Dan kebanyakan, kegagalan saya tersebut berada saat wawancara. Why? Maybe keliatannya ketika wawancara saya sering nervous atau over confident sehingga you might see me as a cocky kinda girl? I do not know. Yang jelas, saya harus belajar mengontrol semua pressure yang ada saat di lapangan. Belajar nulis essay yang baik dan benar juga biar gak plagiasi, dll. Belajar untuk gagal itu baik selama kita bisa bangkit kembali. Sebenarnya rasa yang gue rasain itu sendiri yaitu rasa about how to deal with the failure. By the time, you'll get use to it and it's not as pain as previous.

Apa mungkin Tuhan sengaja memberikan kita banyak kegagalan untuk menguji keimanan kita? Sesuai salah satu surat dalam Al-Quran mengatakan bahwa “Boleh jadi apa yang saya anggap baik ternyata amat buruk bagimu dan begitupun sebaliknya. Sesungguhnya Allah Maha Mengetahui sedangkan kamu tidak!”. Positive thinking sambal kembali berkaca pada kegagalan.

Pada kesempatan kali ini, saya ingin menyatakan CONGRATULATION TO MY ALAY PARTNER semasa coolyeah, yang sama-sama jadi beasiswa hunter dan akhirnya kali ini buah kegagalan terbayar sudah Lay! I am so happy for you!! :* Well, diinget lagi yaa Ness catatan about results will never betray its process. Moga next time gue lulus yaaahh. Hehehe :D

Last but not least, I will always try ‘cause I’m born to not giving up on my dreams. Bismillahirrahmanirrahiim. May Allah always be with me and you, my dearest readers, in our next trial and battle.

Salam perjuangan,

Ness...

Malang: Loe Mien Toe Cafe

Thursday Morning around 10am.

I visited this place for the first time since my entire life, even when I used to live in Malang. Well, this cafe is quite famous because of the concept they serve. I've known this place from websites and some instagram posts. Well, I have to say that Loe Mien Toe is a very cozy to especially for spending your time!

Cita-cita 72 Tahun Indonesia Merdeka!

Yang pertama, saya sebagai warga negara ingin kembali mengucapkan Selamat Hari Kemerdekaan Republik Indonesia yang ke 72.

Tepatnya 17 Agustus 1945, hari di mana Indonesia bebas, merdeka dari penjajahan. Negara dan rakyatnya telah tidak terkungkung dari jeratan kesengsaraan.  Secara kasat mata memang hal itulah yang terjadi, namun masih banyak problematika yang terjadi setelah 72 tahun Indonesia merdeka. Kompleksitas permasalahan dari berbagai segi baik politik, sosial, ekonomi dan lainnya masih menggaung memekakkan telinga masyarakatnya, meneriakkan rintihan meminta pertolongan bagi masyarakatnya.

Fate #2

In the middle of the phone in July...

Another story is revealed. There is girl who tried very hard to reach her goal. She conveyed the whole process and her ambition to reach . Even though many processes did not go according to her plans but she was still eager to follow a series of other processes. One door close, there are still many other doors to be opened, that's what she believed. Her first priority is to win a scholarship to school abroad.

Fate #1

Weekend in the middle of July.

I called my best friend whom I already consider as my big sister. As usual, we talked a lot about everything as we usually did. Well, I have to admit that generally, our conversations were led to FATE. I was so happy to hear her fruitful news, about someone proposed her. Well, she had been doing ta'aruf as Muslim's law while doing a relationship. After lots of life trials she went through, finally it comes to a sweet ending. It is Fate. Destiny. Or whatever you call it to describe something that belongs to you. About this first version of fate, let me tell you the whole story. A bittersweet love story of my friend...

Self Reminder: Everything Needs Effort!

Hari ini, 16 Juli 2017. Saya memiliki pembelajaran baru lagi soal kehidupan. Sambil dilatarbelakangi nyanyian merdu Harry Styles yang berjudul Sweet Creature yang diputar tetangga kamar kos saya, dimulailah saya menulis sesi ini. Yah, kehidupan itu ibarat sekolah dan pengalaman merupakan materi yang kita pelajari. Saya merasa harus banyak menulis soal self reminder seperti ini. Hari ini pembelajaran dari adik tingkat saya yang sedang berada di Polandia.

Namanya Anggoro Wicaksono. Yeah, you can find his instagram on @anggorowic. Well, yang barusan bukan promosi. Tapi di dalam instagramnya kalian bisa menemukan banyak foto berlatar negeri berbendera putih-merah tersebut. Dia mendapatkan beasiswa ke Polandia dari Erasmus Mundus dan saat ini dia dalam perjalanannya untuk balik ke Indonesia.

Work Life Voyage - Semarang

Heyhoooo.. Apakabar guys? Finally, after several months hiatus, finally I'm back with a story. Actually, cerita ini gak "fresh from the oven" story karena udah beberapa bulan yang lalu terjadi dan baru saya tulis. Short story, as you can read from the title, I want to share my experience on visiting Semarang. And also, gue kesana karena urusan kerjaan... Tapi alhamdulillah ada kesempatan jalan-jalan ke beberapa tempat di sana. Sebelumnya, gue mau pake bahasa gado-gado yaa Indo-English. Harap maklum, nulis sambil belajar.

Gue inget banget pas hari terakhir penugasan audit, udah planning sama Kak Steffi (ketua tim) mau nyelesaiin cepet2 buat #exploreSemarang. haha.. Awalnya nekat mau pake grab or angkot buat jalan2. hahaha.. Eeehh, meleset dari jam 8 udah selesai kerjaan, perginya jadi jam 1 siang karena klien ngomongnya jam 12 mau ngadain rapat hasil akhirnya. Yaudiiinn deh.. Udah browsing juga, mau ke Lawang Sewu, gak afdol rasanya ke Semarang tapi gak kesana dan Alhamdulillah, kantor klien ke destinasi tujuan gak terlalu jauh...

Ways to be The Awardee of Sakura Science Program in Japan

Alhamdulillah, sudah dua bulan setelah saya mendapat kesempatan untuk mengikuti program pertukaran pelajar di Jepang, Sakura Science Program, yang diadakan Kanazawa Institute of Technology (KIT). Banyak adik-adik tingkat yang menanyakan bagaimana saya bisa mendapatkan program tersebut. Semoga saya belum terlambat untuk membagikan pengalaman saya dan semoga bermanfaat..

Well.. Sakura Science Program yang saya ikuti ini merupakan kegiatan lanjutan yang diadakan pihak KIT dari program Learning Express(LEX) yang diadakan oleh Singapore Polytechnic bersama kampus Universitas Muhammadiyah Malang (UMM), kampus dimana saya mengenyam pendidikan sarjana. So,

Big Bad Wolf Event

Hello guys, I want to share a little bit about an event which has been held in ICE BSD until second day of May this year. It is a big event where you can find many impressive books and buy it for a cheap price due to a big sale discount up to 70%.

Yesterday, I went there with my 2 Junior High School Friends, and I knew the info of BBW from my other JHS friend who currently working on that event. So happy finally we made our time to meet each other even if we did not spend much time to chit-chatting. At least we already took a mandatory pictures together yaaa and made a promise to catch up in another time. lol

Everglow

Living miles away from my parents has made me realize how important to utilize my time when I am with them. Simply, because people gets older and, of course, we do not know how much the time remains, either mine or theirs, to be spent together.

Being far has made me see the change on their physical appearance particularly the wrinkles on their face which are getting more and more every time I meet them. However, they are still the same. A talkative mom which absolutely descent "that skill" to me, and an over protective and over worry dad who really like to call me just only to ask my condition. lol (That's the way they love me anyway! xD)

It feels like yesterday when I was 4 and waiting my daddy to come home because he always brought me many snacks and beverages after he worked then simply said

UPROAR

As I walk through..
Nothing seems okay..
Lost in my own dream though..
My own decision as I say..

Right or Not?
Was it a right decision I made?
Or was it just my lust?
I don't know which one the right side

Always keeping up my spirit
As I hope that this is my way
Cause there's no turning back to the past
No, It's such a No Way!

This Gloomy, angry and hopeless I feel..
No medicine that can heal..
Is it a regret?
Cause I don't want to feel it..

Way to Graduate!

Pardon me, Actually I already posted this a year ago but I do not know how this writings have to be posted again. So, here you go!

Last February, I was graduated! Finally the struggle had finished on February, 27 2016 with a very nice result. So, my journey as a university student was ended in my 3,5 years. Satisfaction of course overwhelm us, but like you all know, there’s a process to achieve it and that’s not easy at all.

Many of my colleagues asked me about my trick to finish my thesis with a very short time. In this case, my thesis is an empirical study not a study case which means that I have to read many books and journals and try to discuss based on previous study. So, READING from many sources is a KEY!

In this post, I want to tell my experiences and try to conclude my point of view based on it. I hope it's useful for you. I just want to share. So here you go: 

A thing I Always Missed

Halo Guys. Happy Weekend!!!

Hope you have a wonderful holiday.

Well, I think this (my) blog contains lots of my random thoughts and experiences yet most of them are my nonsense writings. Moreover, I already feel like this blog is my diary and kind of a self-healing. Silly. Lol. Whatever. As long as it makes me happy, I'll do it continuously. ^_^v

So.. I felt a little bit in blues in this flat Sunday of mine.

My Valentine

Hello Guys. How Are You?

First post in 2017, so late to say Happy New Year yet better late than never right? Hahaha

I must say I miss writing a lot but I dont't know what content should I write.

Anywayfor all Indonesian, Happy Voting Day. Hope you use your vote rights to choose the next leader in your country. Jangan Golput yah kayak Saya. Hahaha ^^v

Last but not least, because yesterday was Valentine's Day, I also want to say Happy Valentine!!

In terms of Valentine's Day, I want to write about Love of my life. *drums roll*